Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Un Lazzo De La Bella Donna

Un Lazzo De La Bella Donna will make you wanna chicka chick bowm. It will rock your socks off and you will be left with no choice but to put them in a box. That's why you watch, scared to look away, because at that moment it might show you what to take off the lox with. Or you could just learn to eat fish and stop making such a fuss every time we go to safta and saba's house. You don't even know what the shtetl is anymore. Drink the wine and attend a WCAR fundraising even in which everyone pretends to be living in the old country and then you can take a boat (classroom with a television playing static) to the shalom room and have egg creams made with real fox's u-bet syrup.

Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is an introduction to the good life, and by life mean lifestyle, and by good, mean easy, and by introduction mean gateway, and by we mean you, and by what mean wine, and by gentlemen mean guys who do not hit their girlfriends, and by ladies mean virgins. OMG so beautiful! So beautiful and virtuous and not difficult. Deep notes of trust overlaid with reality show whores, craigslist whores, and nineteenth century opera whores. They sell themselves like right around the toes and hope their tours don't end here. Beautiful, like the wine, like as delicious as the eggs, or even more delicious. Beautiful enough that a duel might be fought or that a washed up rock star might send you a note or a third thing, but there's no third thing about the powerful anti-oxidants a glass of this baby will pack into those pumping rooty blood vessels of yours.

If you could live in the sauce, don't you think I would live in the sauce?

Drink a glass a day for optimum health, (if you are a guy. If you are a girl it actually slightly increases your risk of breast cancer, already the most common kind of cancer in chicks. Holy shit it's so common! But guys are having heart attacks left and right (and up and down) and so should drink a glass a day. You know what? Why not make it a bottle?)

There's a great old saying about Un Lazzo De La Bella Donna, but it's NSFW so we won't include it in this review. It's really apt though. It has to do with a black guy and a frog and what one said to the other on a rainy day. Probably one of your friends knows it.

Moves from blackberry to poison like A to Bm. Tangled up in pain in the finish, is more like it! Notes of car and lawn. A remarkably clean eye contact polished down almost to nothing. Listen. Level with you. Drink the wine or the wine store will start laying people off and the kind of people who work in the wine store are exactly the kind of people who tip the bartenders and the bartenders buy the chinese food and the chinese food guys go through a lot of bike parts and there aren't that many bike shops around anyway but those guys buy everything, they're just straight up middle class guys. They even buy stuff in the suburbs, or their lawyer kids do. Shit.

Quote: "I did just hold down the shift key & the 3 key at the same time thinking that that would make a more emphatic three..."
Varietal: La Bella Donna
Food Pairing: Pine cone soup

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